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Mes questions suivantes me seront souvent posees par des personnes de multiples sexes, ages et cultures

  • « Comment puis-je me faire bonheur quand je sais que i§a deplait a Mathieu ? »
  • « Comment ecouter notre besoin aussi que les besoins de faire mes proches me semblent plus urgents ? »
  • « Pourquoi ai-je de la difficulte a etre bien quand l’autre est malheureux ? »
  • « Pourquoi ai-je si peur de passer Afin de egoiste ou sans-coeur ? »

Avant de repondre a ces questions tres communes, voici une bri?ve histoire fort symbolique :

Un jour, depuis un certain temps, un pere et son gamin de 12 ans eurent un long trajet a parcourir et ne possedaient qu’un ane. Le pere decida de laisser son fils s’asseoir sur l’ane pendant qu’il marchait a cote. Ils rencontrerent votre etranger qui dit au gamin : « Comment peux-tu etre aussi egoiste et laisser ton pere marcher a cote de toi? Tu es jeune et plein de vigueur, tu devrais etre celui se deplai§ant. » Le pere et le fils deciderent de changer d’espace et maintenant, le gamin marchait a cote de l’ane. Un tantinet plus loin, ils rencontrerent une autre personne qui dit au pere : « Comment pouvez-vous etre aussi sans-coeur et laisser ce petit fils marcher de la sorte! Apres tout, vous etes le pere et votre adulte; vous devriez marcher a cote de l’ane. »

Ils se regarderent la totalite des deux et deciderent de s’asseoir l’ensemble des deux sur l’ane. Apres un temps certain, ils rencontrerent un nouvelle individu qui leur evoque : « Comment pouvez-vous etre aussi ingrats l’integralite des deux et faire autant bosser ce pauvre ane qui me semble bien fatigue! N’avez-vous pas honte d’etre assis ainsi l’ensemble des deux et de laisser votre pauvre ane Realiser tout la ti?che? » Le pere et le fils, ne sachant plus trop quoi Realiser et se sentant coupables d’avoir fatigue un ane, deciderent de marcher la totalite des deux a cote de l’ane pour que ce dernier puisse se reposer. Un peu plus loin, ils rencontrerent une autre personne qui leur devoile : « Quelle sorte d’idiots etes-vous? Vous avez un ane et vous ne l’utilisez aussi jamais! »

La morale de une telle petite histoire : CELA RESTE IMPOSSIBLE DE FAIRE PLAISIR A TOUT LE MONDE

Si chacun d’entre nous peut se souvenir de cela, quelle life rejouissant nous aurions! Comme il va etre plus facile d’etre heureux! Helas, le contraire se produit. Notre education familiale et religieuse nous a appris que nous devons nous oublier Afin de les autres sinon, nous ne sommes que des egoistes et des sans-coeur. Par consequent, nous avons appris a ignorer les vrais besoins. Mes seules occasions ou nous nous accordons le droit de des ecouter sont lorsque ceux-ci repondent aux besoins des autres et correspondent a leurs croyances.

Nous avons egalement integre la notion que, Quand nous faisons joie zoosk a ceux que nous aimons, ils nous aiment davantage. Nous n’avons jamais appris la difference entre FAIRE PLAISIR A QUELQU’UN et AIMER QUELQU’UN. Ce paraissent deux concepts pleinement multiples. Nous pouvons faire bonheur a quelqu’un sans l’aimer veritablement et nous pouvons aimer quelqu’un sans lui faire joie.

Prenons l’exemple d’un couple ou madame souhaite aller au cinema l’ensemble des semaines tandis que monsieur prefere voir la television dans le fauteuil prefere a la maison. Madame croit que Quand monsieur accepte d’aller au cinema, il lui confirme qu’il l’aime et monsieur, de son cote, croit que Quand madame regarde votre film a la television avec lui, elle lui prouve le amour. Un couple qui s’aime veritablement accepte d’avoir des preferences differentes et l’un comme l’autre accepte de se faire plaisir seul si l’autre n’en a pas besoin au meme moment. Afin que votre soit de l’amour veritable, au moment oi? l’un des deux decide d’effectuer plaisir a l’autre en faisant ce dont il n’a pas vraiment le desir, votre decision devra etre prise par amour Afin de l’autre et non via peur de lui deplaire ou par peur d’une dispute.

Aimer veritablement signifie accepter la difference de l’autre sans vouloir le changer. C’est aussi accepter d’avoir des preferences ou des croyances plusieurs de l’autre ainsi que ne pas ignorer des besoins de facon a plaire a l’autre. Je repete : lorsqu’une personne CHOISIT de faire plaisir a qui que votre soit, votre conseil devra etre fera pour le joie de faire ravissement. Souvenons-nous de ce que stipule la loi de la maison : si nous aimons que des autres choisissent de nous Realiser plaisir, il n’en tient qu’a nous d’agir une meme facon le plus souvent possible.

Comme la petite histoire du debut le demontre, nous devons toutefois nous rappeler qu’il reste impossible de faire bonheur a tout le monde en aussi temps. Notre plus difficile a accepter s’avere les choix que font des autres, surtout des copains, avec qui nous ne sommes gui?re d’accord. Parce qu’ils savent cela nous ferait bonheur et qu’ils disent nous aimer, nous croyons qu’ils devraient i  chaque fois agir en fonction de ce que nous aimons. CETTE CROYANCE ENGENDRE UNE ATTENTE COMPLETEMENT UTOPIQUE.

Plus une personne se sent responsable du bonheur des autres et plus elle eprouvera de la peine a ecouter ses besoins, surtout si elle croit que ses amis ne sont jamais d’accord. L’attitude a developper est alors la suivante :

  1. Avant de prendre une decision, verifie si c’est bien votre que tu veux en imaginant que i§a ne derange personne autour de toi.
  2. Di?s que tu crois que cela pourrait deranger quelqu’un, verifie aupres de cette personne si c’est bien la realite. Tres souvent, nous supposons qu’il en est ainsi sans une verification prealable.
  3. Si l’autre evoque que cela le derange, verifie a l’interieur de toi si tu lui enleves veritablement quelque chose qui lui appartient du fera d’ecouter ton besoin. Dans l’exemple du couple cite ci-dessus, si monsieur disait a madame que cela le derangeait qu’elle aille au cinema seule ou avec une amie, est-ce qu’elle lui enleverait veritablement quelque chose en le faisant? Non, elle ne fait que ne pas lui apporter votre qu’il souhaite. Sa partenaire ne lui appartient pas.
  4. Rappelle-toi qu’etre egoiste consiste a enlever quelque chose a quelqu’un qui ne t’appartient gui?re, et ce, pour ton strict joie. L’egoisme ne correspond pas a NE PAS DONNER A L’AUTRE ce qui lui ferait ravissement.
  5. Apprends a exprimer votre que tu veux pour toi, incluant votre que tu ressens, et enonce a quel point votre que tu veux pour toi contribuera a te rendre heureux.

Autres points a considerer :

Compilation realisee par Lorena Lopez auteure, traductrice, Conseillere angelique, bibliotherapeute, Consultante Feng shui et Therapeute en EFT (techniques de liberation emotionnelle).

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